Population in Control
Sometime after independence three great leaders of the
country - Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra Bose, Lal Bahadur Shastri and
Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven. God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many
children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three!
Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a
Mercedes!
Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, God is a
bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford. Jawaharlal is next and on
replying that he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an
inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why
God hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, 'Some idiot told
God that I was the Father of the Nation!'
What makes the
Indians happy?
Rabri Devi, Sonia Gandhi and Jayalalitha were flying
together in a plane.
They were just talking among themselves when
Rabri said: 'I have this 100 rupee note. If I drop this from the plane then it
will fall on the ground and one Indian will pick it up and so I can make one
Indian happy.
So Sonia pulled out two 50 rupee notes and said : If I drop these two 50 rupee
notes, I can make two Indians happy.
Lastly Jaya pulled out 100 one rupee note and said: 'If I can drop all 100 one
rupee notes, then I can make 100 Indians happy.'
Seeing all this hypocrisy the pilot could not resist himself and said:
'If I can drop all three of you from the plane ,I can make one billion Indians
happy'.
Desi English
I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk?
Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in'!
'Why are you naat filupping the blanks ?'
Maro saale ko:: Hit the brother in law
'Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside'
Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams:
' Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations '
' Don't talk like that in front of my back '
' Don't stand in front of my back'
'Repeat again please!'
'Mistake became wrong!'
Telephone call to Hell
In order to develop friendly relationship between the two
countries, I.K.Gujral and Nawaz Sharif decided to visit each other's country
regularly.
The first visit was by Gujral to Pakistan. There Sharif showed him Pakistan's
modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Gujral made a call to
Rajiv Gandhi in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes ! The bill for the call
came to only Re.1.
When Gujral came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be
at the best when Nawaz Sharif visited India. Suitable arrangements were made.
Sharif came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq
in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!
Sharif asked with a sarcastic smile - 'Why are telephone calls to hell so
costly in India ?'
A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - 'From Pakistan to hell, it is a
local call, Sir, while from India it is long distance!'
Immitation
What do you call it when a Desi tries to imitate an American ?
Artificial Intelligence
Desi QA
What do you call a Desi gathering ?
Technical Conference
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